When Sorry Never Comes
What the Church Really Teaches About Forgiving the Unrepentant
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” Colossians 3:13 (NLT)
Paul does not say, “Forgive when you feel ready.” He does not say, “Forgive after they apologize.” He does not even say, “Forgive if the offense was small enough.” He says forgive, period, and grounds the whole command in what God has already done for us in Christ.
That is a hard word. And if you have ever been deeply hurt by someone who has never shown one ounce of remorse, you know exactly how hard it lands.
Here is what I want to be honest with you about from the start: this question, whether you can truly forgive someone who has never apologized and never will, is not a simple one. The Church has a clear and beautiful teaching on forgiveness. But the pastoral reality for survivors of serious harm is complex, and anyone who tells you otherwise has probably never sat across from someone who was abused, betrayed, or abandoned and is still waiting for an apology that will never come.
So let’s hold both things at once: the call and the complexity.
