Habit 6: Synergize
The Power of “We” Over “Me”
In Stephen Covey’s groundbreaking book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Habit 6—Synergize—is the culmination of the first five habits. It’s where private victories become public victories. It’s about creative cooperation. Synergy means that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts—that when people come together with openness, humility, and a commitment to common goals, something extraordinary happens.
What Is Synergy?
Synergy is not just teamwork. It’s not compromise. It’s collaboration on a deeper level, where differences are not just tolerated but celebrated because they bring out better solutions. In a synergistic environment, 1 + 1 doesn’t equal 2—it equals 3, or 10, or 100.
To synergize means to:
Value differences in perspective, experience, and ideas.
Listen empathetically to truly understand another’s point of view.
Seek creative solutions that wouldn’t have been possible individually.
Trust the process, even when it feels messy or unpredictable.
Why It Matters
In a world full of echo chambers and division, synergy is rare—but when it’s achieved, it’s revolutionary. Think about your personal life, your marriage, your workplace, or even your church community. When people stop pushing their own agendas and start co-creating solutions, barriers fall. Relationships deepen. Results multiply.
Synergy is how a marriage becomes more than two individuals—it becomes a legacy. It’s how a team at work becomes more than co-workers—they become a mission-driven force. It’s how the early Church in Acts exploded—because people from different backgrounds came together with one heart and mind.
What Gets in the Way of Synergy?
Pride: the belief that your way is the only right way.
Fear: of losing control, of looking weak, of being wrong.
Ego: the need to be right more than the need to connect.
Poor listening: when we prepare our response instead of seeking understanding.
Synergy cannot exist where people feel the need to compete or defend. It thrives in places where people feel safe, heard, and respected.
How to Practice Habit 6
Start with the heart. Genuinely desire to value others’ contributions. If you're not willing to be changed by what you hear, you're not really listening.
Seek first to understand (Habit 5). Real synergy can’t happen unless people feel truly understood.
Build on strengths. Acknowledge differences as strengths. What one person lacks, another brings in abundance.
Be open to third alternatives. Don’t settle for your way or their way. Work together to find a better way that neither of you could see alone.
Practice humility. Remember: you don’t need all the answers. In fact, if you do all the talking, you might miss the breakthrough.
Personal Reflection
In my life, I’ve seen synergy work in my marriage, in my role as a supervisor, and as a father. It’s not always easy. It requires patience, vulnerability, and trust. But some of the best ideas, the strongest connections, and the most meaningful victories I’ve had didn’t come from me alone—they came from us working together.
Synergy is a spiritual concept, too. Jesus didn’t work alone. He called 12 very different men and brought them together to change the world. The Body of Christ works because of synergy—different parts, different functions, one purpose.
A Challenge for You
This week, look for one relationship—at work, at home, or in your circle—where you could lean into synergy. Practice deep listening. Invite collaboration. Let go of the need to be right. See what happens when you move from “me” to “we.”
Because when you do, you’re not just being effective.
You’re building something eternal.
Such a great reminder!! Thank you!